Understanding Anxiety in Children and Adolescents: Signs, Causes, and Solutions
- Guest Writer
- Apr 12
- 6 min read
Anxiety is very common in children and adolescents. Three common forms are separation anxiety, generalized anxiety, and social anxiety.
Separation Anxiety is defined as excessive fear or anxiety concerning separation from an attachment figure, such as a parent, lasting at least 4 weeks, and includes at least three of the following symptoms:
1. Recurrent fear or worry when anticipating separation from attachment figures.
2. Persistent worry about losing an attachment figure, or possible harm to the figure.
3. Reluctance to leave the attachment figure, i.e. go to school.
4. Refusing to sleep away from home, or go to sleep without the attachment figure.
5. Nightmares about separation.
6. Complaints of physical symptoms when separated from an attachment figure.
Generalized Anxiety is defined as excessive worry, occurring most days for at least 6 months, about many different events or activities, accompanied by at least one of the following symptoms in children:
1. Feeling restless or on edge.
2. Easily fatigued.
3. Difficulty concentrating.
4. Irritability.
5. Muscle tension.
6. Sleep disturbance.
Social Anxiety in children/adolescents is defined as extreme fear or anxiety in peer situations, which is out of proportion to any real threat, lasting 6 months or more, and is expressed by crying, tantrums, freezing, clinging, shrinking, or refusal to speak in social situations.
Helping Children and Adolescents with Symptoms of Anxiety
Regardless of the form of anxiety, children/adolescents coping with symptoms often suffer academically and/or socially. In the case of Separation Anxiety, a form of anxiety generally seen in pre-school and slightly older children, they are reluctant to explore away from their attachment figure, and afraid of new situations that can help them in their mental and social development.
Children and adolescents with Generalized Anxiety often have perfectionistic tendencies, and may be very conscientious. However, these qualities may be taken to the extreme when a child feels they will disappoint parents if they get less than perfect grades, miss an attempted soccer goal, or if they don’t make the cheerleading team. Such fears may make them overly cautious and reluctant to try new things. Children may also worry about the safety and health of family members.
Finally, children and adolescents with Social Anxiety tend to experience constricted lives, afraid to engage and join their peers, thinking they will be rejected. Because they tend to be “loners”, classmates may taunt them, accusing them of being “unfriendly” “stuck-up” or “weird”.
Counseling can help to minimize your child’s anxiety symptoms. Recommended interventions for children/adolescents experiencing symptoms of anxiety include a combination of individual and family counseling, incorporating cognitive and behavioral techniques. These techniques may include calming and relaxation strategies, ways to improve sleep, coping strategies, and rehearsal of situations that provoke anxiety. These techniques will be presented in a safe, nurturing environment incorporating age-appropriate methods such as games and role-plays. Such techniques will help to calm them, put fears into perspective, make him or her feel more in control, and more confident in school and social situations.
The hard work and unpredictability that makes parenting so rewarding can also cause a great deal of anxiety. Here are some simple ways to bring yourself to a place of calm.
Make a To-Do List
Ruminating on worries can cause lots of stress. Clear your mind by making a to-do list. Put down everything that needs to be done into your phone or onto a sheet of paper, and as you write them down, visualize yourself removing this task from your mind onto the list.
Watch Your Language
Many times parents believe things will get better when their children move on to the next phase of their maturity. However, the truth is that the worry will continue until you change your pattern of thought. To do this, watch the language you use to describe things. Don’t use phrases such as, “this will be a disaster if I don’t get it done on time” or “I’ll die of embarrassment if I forget.”
Also change thoughts of “I have to” to “I want to”. For example, instead of saying “I have to sign the kids up for karate” say, “I want to sign the kids up for karate because I know they’ll love it.”
Get Some Fresh Air
There’s nothing like some fresh air and sunlight to ease anxiety. Put your baby in a stroller and go for a walk around the block, to a neighbor’s house, or a local park. Take your kids to an outdoor mall or sit on the patio of a frozen yogurt shop and share a frozen treat. You can also try your local library. Some libraries also have outdoor patio areas where you can read with your kids.
Practice Mindfulness Exercises
If your anxiety is difficult to control, try deep-breathing from your belly. While you do this, concentrate on five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. This can help calm you when you’re feeling a panic or anxiety attack start to arise.
Use Your Support Network
Call your friends or family to chat or ask for advice. It may also help to vent with a Facebook parenting group or other online message board. You can also call your therapist and make an appointment and work through your challenges.
Try these tips to control and cope with your anxiety, and enjoy the time with your children free from worry.
If you find your anxiety to be impacting your ability to be a happy, successful parent, it might be time to speak with a professional who can help. Please contact me today for an initial consultation.
The statistics on teen suicide are staggering. According to the Centers for Disease Control, each year, an average of 8% of American teens will attempt suicide. This makes suicide the second leading cause of death for kids aged 10 to 24. In fact, it is believed that more teenagers die from suicide than from cancer, pneumonia, birth defects, AIDS, influenza and heart disease combined.
Studies have found that teens who have presented with a mood disorder or who abuse drugs are at the greatest risk of attempting suicide. While research suggests girls attempt suicide more often, boys more often die from it.
Unfortunately, there is still much stigma surrounding depression and suicide, and so often these kids keep their emotional pain to themselves.
What can parents of teenagers do to keep their children safe and healthy?
Speak with Your Kid
Many parents believe that trying to speak with their kids about their moods and feelings will only push them farther away. This is a dangerous misconception. In reality, teenagers need to know they are safe, loved and cared for.
You may want to begin your conversation by asking general questions about what’s going on in their life. When the time feels right, you can ask if they have ever had thoughts of self-harm. If their answer alarms you, ask specifically if they are planning on or intending to harm themselves.
Validate Their Feelings
Once you’ve begun this sensitive dialogue with your teen, it’s important to actively listen and validate their feelings. Your kid must really believe you are a) hearing what they’re telling you and b) recognizing the importance of it. Try and listen without judgement. This will help your child relax and open up, thereby giving you an opportunity to learn even more about their inner emotional life.
Clarify the Situation
If your teen confides they are having thoughts of suicide, it’s incredibly important that you remain calm and ask questions that will help you clarify the situation. You will want to determine if they are mentioning suicide because they:
• Want to tell you just how bad they are feeling.
• Alert you to something they need but are not getting.
• Need to vocalize their desire to stop feeling so many emotions.
• Have actually planned how and when they will take their life.
Seek Professional Guidance
Any talk of suicide is a serious matter and requires professional guidance by a trained therapist. It’s important not to force your teen into any treatment plan, but instead, allow them to help direct the course of their plan. Some of their depression might stem from an overall lack of control they feel they have in their own life, so it’s important you let them have a voice in the direction of treatment. You may also find that you will want to speak with someone through this difficult time.
If you or a loved one is seeking treatment options for a troubled teen, please be in touch. We would be more than happy to discuss how we may be able to help your family.