The Benefit of Silence

Have you ever sat with someone, and suddenly there is a pause? That brief moment can

feel like an eternity as we struggle with what to say next. We may hope the other person breaks their silence and fills that space with words. Or we may talk about things that we feel will alleviate the anxiety that comes with silence.

In therapy, silence is a therapeutic tool used to facilitate growth in the client and allow

them to use healthy coping tools. Silence is also golden for therapists as it lets clients reflect and maintain leadership/autonomy in their growth.

A woman gestures for silence by placing her finger to her lips, emphasizing the importance of keeping quiet.

So, how does silence help?

First, silence allows for reflection. How is the client feeling about the session and what

they have just discussed? Are feelings and emotions aligning with how they initially came in

feeling? Have they grown, and how have they processed the feelings that they came in with?

Second, it allows the client to connect with their feelings. For example, a client may walk

into a session angry, and after speaking with their therapist, the client may realize that their

feelings and emotions reflect that of sadness. When this happens, the client can take a moment and discuss what they are feeling with a different frame of mind.

Lastly, it allows the client to continue their train of thought. Allowing silence is equally

hard for the therapist, I believe. Often, a therapist believes that giving clients tools or words they can’t find will help them begin to have a flow of thought again.

Both therapist and client may find it helpful to breathe, use coping tools, and WAIT.

WAIT

Why Am I Talking? Are we talking because we need to? Or are we talking because it is

essential and part of the process? I often encourage clients, as well as myself, to think about why they are talking. Is what we are about to say helpful or harmful? Are we uncomfortable with silence? What are some ways we can become better with silence?

Tools

Breathing, meditation, or using a fidget toy are helpful ways that may allow us some time

in silence. Also, supportive reflection in admitting that silence is hard can help with anxiety.