how sleep affects relationships
- Danielle Carranza
- 3 days ago
- 2 min read
In an ideal world we laid down for bed in clean PJs and slumbered for 8-9 hours. Sleep helps the brain process your emotions and memories from the day, and generally you’d wake well rested, not irritated and maybe your back wouldn’t hurt. Sleep deprivation is like your body turning on the “survivor mode”. When you’re not sleeping well your brain's ability to function turns into the classic tacky baby shirt “Eat, Sleep, Poop, Repeat”
Think about how you feel when you have no energy to maintain conversations with our partners, go to social gatherings, or remember to do basic self-care tasks like eating. Sleep can absolutely impact our relationship with others in ways that we’d never see coming.
Some points about sleep
1. On average humans spend about 1/3 of their lives asleep. When we are deprived of our sleep, our emotions can get thrown out of whack. Remember that three year old at Janet’s BBQ? They skipped their nap and had everyone on edge, yeah adults get like that too. We just don’t see it in ourselves.
2. Insufficient sleep (quality, or quantity) can literally make you sick and tired. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), issues like the common cold, diabetes, obesity, depression, and all bad sleep.
3. Alternative sleep schedules within a relationship can cause problems because working odd hour shifts can make it difficult to plan for people who matter. It’s hard to plan your cousin's baby shower at 6 PM if your partner works 9 to 5 and you work evenings.
When our emotions are all over the place, we tend to overreact or underreact to someone else, and in a world where we can only control our own actions and reactions it might be difficult to regulate. When we are deprived of sleep, we are more likely to feel sad, depressed, or anxious. We are more prone to taking risky behaviors, we are more prone to physical accidents and we might be medically ill. All of these impact our relationships, both romantically and platonically.
How can we fix it?
1. We can consider saving serious, more involved conversations for a day when you are more rested.
2. Change the quality over quantity when spending time with people. For example, a 30 minute conversation, 30 minute Bible study, 30 minutes of just being silly together oftentimes is more fulfilling than watching two hours of TV after work.
3. It can help to have some kind of digital calendar that you can share with your partner or friends. There are like. “ FamilyWall.” or. “ Google Calendar/Apple calendar” you can even buy a physical calendar and spend time together decorating it/putting in all of your events for the month.
In conclusion, sleep is important, on average a human being spends between 26-33 years of their life in sleep. Invest in a good mattress, spend time understanding what changes the quality of your sleep, and make a conscious effort to pay attention to your sleep patterns. If not for your own health, the health of your relationship.
References:
Psychologytoday.com- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-and-mating/202309/is-poor-sleep-quality-sabotaging-your-relationships
Time-
CDC- Sleep Deprivation, Sleep Disorders, and Chronic Disease